Written by St. Matthias Community member Margaret Tamblyn
I don’t think for a single moment that Jesus felt God had forsaken him. Jesus had a deep, deep faith in God. He knew God in a way that most people would consider blasphemous if we thought we could do the same. But I think we can.
I am grateful for the crucifixion. The reason that I am grateful is that the crucifixion brought this Jesus to us – the Jesus who was not afraid to follow the will of God – the Jesus who did not resist his path . . . mind you, he did, apparently, ask for a bit of a rethink on God’s part . . . and when that was not to be, he moved forward to do God’s will.
I often think that doubt is one of our greatest adversaries. Doubt and resistance. I don’t think Jesus doubted and he did not resist. He knew what needed to be done, and moved forward into doing just that. Partly because he was so connected to his God that he knew, without a doubt, and the direction of his life. That is one thing that we tend not to have. . . but then again, we tend not to ask for it either. I wonder what 40 days in the desert would do for our understanding of God’s will. I wonder what 20 minutes of deep prayer and meditation every day would do.
I have had the good fortune to be near death a couple of times and I have learned to not doubt that the hand of God was always present – even as, I believe, He was always present to Jesus. He is present for all of us – in whatever form we have come to believe he takes. For me, the crucified Jesus is the broken, hurting, frightened person who has showed me how to move through difficult times. He owns that experience of life even though my preference, my joy, is seeing him as my risen Lord. He is always, always there for me. With that I could always, always be there for Him.
One of my favorite poems ends in the line, “Put your hand into the hand of God and it will be unto you better that a light and safer than a known way.”